Me, A Musician?
Once upon a time little Vanessa Douglas sat down for a music lesson with one of her four aunts. She learned to play Mary Had A Little Lamb - promptly faked extreme fatigue and never took another music lesson again in her life. Apart from a few painful experiences learning the "C" chord on guitar - and forgetting it only to learn over again.

Singing, on the other hand, was another story. One of my mom's favorite things to do (it seemed) was shut off the music in the car when we kids were into a song & following along - only to kill the moment for us all (we'd cry "Stop mom!!!!") but she loved hearing our voices all singing the lyrics. She loved that we could ALL carry a tune.

Well, fast forward a bit, I never did much with music (since, alas, I never learned an instrument), but come along Jesus. In 2001 I meet the Savior, begin a downward spiral into alcohol abuse - only to come around again to a real salvation experience in 2007. Along this path, singing & gospel/worship music becomes a big part of my life. It's a way that I spend time with God, it's an avenue God uses in a BIG way to speak to this needy little heart of mine. Music cleanses my soul with the words of God, it lifts my spirit and draws me into worship time, healing time, hearing-time with the Lord. Oh I'm in and I'm in deep.

Now, I always wrote and created art. I didn't write songs, but I wrote poems. I made art, took photographs - but I didn't sing in front of anyone. A couple of times in North Carolina, I think I filled in. I had no idea how to harmonize or improvise. NO idea. I remember it had to be modeled for me and then I needed hand signals to keep up during the actual worship service. People liked my voice but no one in charge ever asked me to do anything up front. Which I was okay with... I couldn't read music, I didn't know how to play anything, I figured it was just as well. It seemed complicated and self conscious to be up there anyway, I supposed. I continued to love my time in praise and worship though...

Now, though not really a great part of worshiping - Karaoke really helped me realize I had a gift. Sounds funny, doesn't it?! I began to do Karaoke - sober, in fact. I could sing and keep up with my favorite (and most challenging song) is Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten. She's actually a pop singer who got started in Christian music at Hillsong London... Pretty cool. Anyway, belting that song, a couple people said I had actual talent. Well, so what? I was a school teacher. I still didn't know what I was doing.

Meanwhile in California Tobiah was getting his church going, praying for a female vocalist who could get involved with his church (and maybe, just maybe with him, if it all worked out ;) haha).

When we started talking, I told him I liked to sing - then one day after Karaoke with a bunch of friends I said, he was talking about how they needed a woman to sing and I said, "You know, I can sing. Let me find something to sing." So I put on "Unwritten" low in the background and sang the best I could over iChat/video conferencing... Anyway he was pleasantly surprised.

So here I am, untrained, I like Karaoke, I can't read music, I still feel like I'm just sort of a Karaoke wannabe. But, Tobiah's church needs people - and I love worship, so when six months later I MOVE to California- I start singing with the worship band (whatever motley bunch happens to be leading worship that week!).

Anyway... Long story short, I come in with a lot of "I don'ts"
I don't read sheet music (or chords, or keys...), I don't know how to tell what key a song is in, I don't know beats, I don't know most of the songs they play... I also can't sing soprano, which was sort of Tobiah's dream, I think. I'm sort of a mid-low female voice...

We start singing outdoors, playing music outside of Starbucks in Stevenson Ranch, CA on Thursday evenings... It's good vocal practice and I learn new songs. I wind up being involved in the worship team every Sunday service - I love it because I'm just worshipping and I don't mind being on a mic as I am singing and worshipping the Lord... Then, comes the Synth.

Tobiah has this giant keyboard, Korg Oasys. It's amazing. It can practically play itself. No, seriously. It's super crazy complicated to me - I never even tinkered with it.
Earlier this week, I hear Tobiah's on the phone with G, one of our worship leaders - and as they are discussing the direction the worship band is going in, he says "Vanessa could learn the synth, you know. Then she can play and sing."
"Well, sure maybe in two or three years, but in the meantime..."

I thought, wow, do I really even want to do that? Two or three years of "Mary Had A Little Lamb," or what?

Well, yesterday Tobiah says "Hey, let me teach you how to play the synth."
"I don't think I have the energy, actually," I'm already pulling my faked-fatigue card!
"No really - it'll be easy I promise." Well, he was serious!

Two hours later, I was playing a very slow, but pretty accurate, worship song we sing at church.

I could sing while I played too - incredible (to me).
I was pretty much blown away. Tobiah taught me the very very basics (C-scale) and started me on a song as soon as I could try it out. Something about how he showed me made it really crazy simple, and though my actual technique is totally beginner level - I'm learning! Wow. I always thought I'd learn guitar or I wouldn't learn anything - piano was beyond me. But it's so amazingly fun. Tonight I fiddled with these ways of playing so that my playing would trigger a more full-sounding "band" sound in the background, and I found one of my favorite singers had a pretty slow song I could learn (Misty Edwards, I am Yours)

Aside from having no idea how to play a Bm (just didn't remember - B was the last chord I learned....), I was sitting there figuring it out... If only TObiah had been around to help me with the B-minor! But I skipped it for now, and got the hang of the OTHER chords and played on... So much joy in this new endeavor. Tobiah said it himself - "I'll just load your gun." I didn't realize how into it I would get! So, thats my story. Full circle. I'm playing the synth now.