All Saints Christmas Ball

Today was just beautiful outside, warm and crisp-clear, blue skies. Tobiah and I met up to go to an 12-step meeting geared for people who have dysfunctional families, then had lunch with his mom and another member of the fellowship. The meetings are really cleansing and supportive, I think it's the 12-step program that I identify with the most, it's very healing and I've only been to a handful of meetings.

Later, I got my makeup on and did my hair while he lounged in my room showing my roommates' kids how to play Chess, and beat them at Wii table tennis, etc. We went on to the All Saints Christmas Ball, a party for the Episcopal Christmas-which is the same celebration & holiday, but about 10 days after the regular Gregorian-Calendar Christmas. Father Rich, of All Saints hadn't seen us since we began talking about our marriage ideas, so Tobiah mentioned them to him - and he was really happy for us! The funny thing though, is we get "congratulations" lately but Tobiah's waiting to do the ASKING in Israel, too. There's not really anywhere in the USA he wants to do such a memorable thing, apparently.I'm fine with that, but it has made it a bit funny seeming, getting congratulated on our engagement then being asked "So where's the ring?" and so on. Yet, we have a general time and place! But we're thinking we'll get enough money together to go there, find clothes, find our locations (we're thinking of making some important sites from Jesus' lifetime part of our procession and walking through the city before saying "I do.") Only us, seriously. Only we would have our wedding plans before the proposal, have everything up in the air and not even be inviting anyone to be there!

Tonight, after hearing about what is basically our engagement, Father Rich began making a special announcement (unplanned), to bless us in our engagement- Tobiah had just stepped out to check messages he'd recieved from people he ministers to. Fittingly enough, I ran outside to get his attention and bring him back in. We were blessed by Father Rich and had two rounds of applause altogether, since T missed the first one outside on the telephone. It was really sweet and special and unexpected but totally right. I loved it. We danced a few times, too - which was fun and very sweet. Tobiah and I staring into one anothers eyes or dancing cheek-to-cheek, very classic-movie-style (well as best as we could do, anyway).

While we were dancing to a slow one, Tobiah looked at me and said "You're the Belle of the Ball, all eyes are on you." I could feel I had that can't-help-how-wide-I'm-smiling grin growing and growing. I just began feeling the exitement of this life growing and forming between us. Surely it won't be easy, but worthwhile? Blessed? Adventurous? Yes.

I think as of the last few days, it's really sinking in that we're moving forward into marriage- and it's also like, we're finally just beginning to enjoy the fact that basically, we're engaged to one another - formalities (like asking), aside, since he wants to pop THE QUESTION somewhere in the Holy Land, but here we are... we're getting excited, we're feeling the joy, we're beginning to enjoy this VERY brief time we have as an engaged couple. We're both feeling that way- like it's so very right, but it's something we're just beginning to "savor." Two people tonight pointed that out too- "Enjoy this time, it will go by SO quickly," they said in an offer of advice.

Now, tonight there was a raffle for different prizes and our table made out big time. Stevie really wanted an icon print of Mary and Jesus that Father Rich donated. Tobiah was the second person who won the raffle and he chose it for her. Tobiah won AGAIN and gave me the Ethiopian cross Father Rich also contributed- on top of it he won a set of Dead Sea lotions (like a manisure kit), and I won him a box of potpourri (which he actually wanted! lol). Along the way, though, we had a new idea about rings.

Before, we thought we'd even buy our rings in Israel, do it ALL when we got there- but when I won the cross (a metal, rustic-looking Coptic cross...) Tobiah's stepdad Rich pointed out that Father Rich is a metalsmith, he makes jewelry, rings, crosses and so forth. We should ask him to make us wedding rings. So, we ran it by him and he said he could. We've asked him to design rings for us, he suggested rings with symbols of our faith, perhaps with Hebrew and Greek incorporated. I love the idea that someone so special and dear to both of us, and whose known Tobiah for so long, could be part of creating the symbols of our comittment to one another, our wedding bands.

The only weird thing for me is just how excited I'm growing, and how out of touch I am with my family about this whole new part of my life. I wish they could experience what things were like for me. I wish they could sense the confirmation and affirming presence God has been, guiding and inspiring us as we walk forward with one another in relationship, in worship, in ministry. I'm sure somehow we'll be able to share some sense of that, eventually, I just wish I could catch them up somehow!

God is doing something new among us both, that is bringing us together into one life. How awesome.

Ventura

Yesterday evening I watched a double-feature with Tobiah, including the films "Word Play" and "The Secret of Roan Inish," and cooked a yummy veggie-n-brown-rice-spaghetti dinner. We we're totally fascinated with "Word Play" considering neither one of us has really ever even tried to solve the New York Times Crossword- Let alone compete to do it in under 5 minutes (this 20 yr old in the film can do it in aproximately 2 minutes). We couldn't even keep up with reading the clues let alone answering them.

Next we watched a film set in Ireland, Roan Inish was basically about a little girl whose family is falling apart around her, who is sort of saved by folk tales related to her family, past and present. It was rather strange, sort of beutiful too. I did enjoy it but some twists were pushing it :) You really have to use your imagination.

I was doing laundry all day and depositing it on my bed, unfortunately though the family and my roommate went to bed- and I still had to do a couple of things in my room. I've been making a lot of small "tweaks" to how I get ready for bed at night so I imact the family as little as possible - I get ready on the other side of the house, don't play any sounds, go to the bathroom or anything near my bedroom/bathroom. My room is directly next to my roommates, so it's difficult because she's a light sleeper & leaves the door open all the time. So... Here I am, clearing the bed of laundry, dropping off towels in the bathroom, and I finally go to plug in the heater on the wall we both share - and somethings sort of bump into the wall making LOUD ENOUGH of a noise that I know it probably woke her (since sighing too hard could probably rouse her from her deepest sleep). I didn't expect her to storm my room though, very very angry and not quite dressed, I am startled. Despite the changes I've made she claims I'm doing this all the time - that I'm not sorry (though I say I am), and that nothing has changed. I'm startled, a little overwhelmed for a few moments when she leaves- to grumble more about me in the other room.

Well, I write a little bit, pray a bit, straighten out my own head and go to bed. This morning I wake to my dog, C.O.D. aka. Sioti, or "Cutest Chihuahua on Earth" as I think of her, is coughing like she's got a mission to accomplish. I'm worried. Yesterday she coughed and threw up and seemed sort of sick all morning... I gave her antacids ground up in her food and fed her pasta, you know, like what you'd do when you feel nauseous, except for a dog. She cleared up- till this morning that is. So I do what we all would do - immediately google away.

Well, people are giving me do's and don'ts and "don't get ripped off at the vet" and saying it's curable at home- but how do I know if she's severe or not? I thought the childrens' cough-syrup idea made some sense, but as I was headed out to Tobiah's on the way I saw the TAGS vaccine clinic was open and the doctor there is really knowledgeable and kind. I went in, walked up and he saw me right away.

I found out Kennel Cough can be trasmitted super easy at the dog park. Now, I wish I had it on video what it took for two grown men to hold my Chihuahua's head still enough to shove a couple drops of KC vaccine into it, it was quite a production. One man had her head in two of his hands, the other poked a little plasic vial of vaccine up her nose and squirted- it only mattered if a little got in. She had her front paws in some sort of vise grip around the vets arm. Meanwhile he's telling me that I can do this myself at home 3 times a year, you know, no big deal. Bah!

Anyway, onward; I go to pick up Tobiah and his surfing gear. We head to Ventura beach... the tide was changing and he geared up and went out - the temperature dropped from 71 degrees in Santa Clarita to 55 in Ventura, so I was bundled and freezing, huddling under a blanket, hoodie, undershirt, long skirt & Tobiah's sweats borrowed as a bottom layer! I actually caught all of the 3 waves he rode, or sunk into, and napped for a good hour to boot. Sioti cuddled next to me, she had a blast, she had an extra spring in her step out on the beach, gallopping, leaping over rocks & driftwood and thoroughly enjoying herself.

There's more to the day but I'm ready to sleep. Overall it was really nice, Tobiah and I have been having really interesting, even prophetic dreams lately, which I intended to write about, but anyhow, it can wait till tomorrow! Blessings.

Happy 2009 !

Tonight a trio of us went to the ... lemme see if I can get this right, ACYPAA, 2009 New Years Eve dance/event. It was all right, it was down in Orange County. I could see it being fun if they took into consideration some other people may... there's just a slight chance that some people's idea of a good evening is not listening to back to back hip-hop for three hours, with nothing to do but breathe second hand smoke in the next (freezing) outdoor-room... with the same music thumping in the background.

I thought if they just had a marathon meeting going on or SOMETHING else to do, even outside, wow, it would have been a lot better. We had fun though, Mike, Tobiah and I brought C.O.D. too, who was probably the coolest one there :) Nevertheless, we met people, Mike left with a girl asking his phone number and at least AFTER midnight they began to play some dance/electronica music.

I do have to say... I had a good time spending the evening with Mike & Tobiah, and realize more each day how blessed I am to know this guy. Tobiah and I hung out most of the night, chatting, around 11:50 the music began to get better - so we began dancing/dancing with each other, and it was just really fun. They even played as song he spins at church, called "House of God." At midnight, not only did it turn 2009, but it is now officially his 13th year of being sober, which means he's really excited. It's his "Sober Bar Mitzfah," we joke. But man, we had fun! We danced, flirted a little, and got to kiss at midnight. We registered for the upcoming Young Peoples convention in March, too.

So, at the AA meeting we went to earlier tonight I had a chance to share, briefly, where I'm at. I realized after writing earlier, and just sort of mentally reviewing some of the things God's driving home for me... I want 2009 to be the year I don't PLAN, manage, try to figure it out, and let it be the year I do the next indicated thing, the year I take direction, the year I go with the flow, the year I live each moment and stop worrying, thinking, fretting, stressing, about the unknow - one moment at a time. The year I don't try to figure it all out. The year I trust.

So here's to that! The year of not planning. Cheers!