New Years Eve-Day

This past weekend I taught at church about "New Years Commitments" (vs. resolutions), and discovered an interesting insight into the language of the two ideas... A resolution is simply a decision to do or not to do something. A commitment is when you unreservedly devote yourself to something/someone, and so on. Who or what is truly worthy of unreserved devotion but Jesus Christ? The one who is all-loving, all-powerful, all-mighty to save, full of grace, power, might, trustworthy with our hearts and lives from yesterday, today and forevermore? Who is unchanging, who is our bridegroom (if "we" are the bride of Christ), the body, the one to whom the cloud of witnesses attest to? What cause is better than that of Christs? Of what higher calling can my life be committed to?

Well, I can't think of one, beyond Christ, that would be more solid. So, a commitment stemming from love and devotion in Christ is the kind of commitment I am making... I have to take my own message to heart, because I lost sight of it.

I'm in a different position than I have ever been in, in my entire life. I know that the only way to walk in the good works God has prepared for me is to trust in Him and do the next indicated thing - and not to over-think any of it or my own over-analysis will paralyze me like it has so many times before.

These gifts of art, writing, ministry into God's word, are surely coming together. Love has also come to me in the form of a relationship with a complex, big hearted and very creative, devoted, Spirit-filled man of God, who has waited a very long time for me to come along... and has devoted his life to serving the Lord and living surrendered to God for everything that comes to him. He's been living a basically monastic single life for over a decade. I love him because he's so devoted to Jesus, he's an artist who uses his gifts in service to the church and to the Gospel... and we share so many common interests and passions... plus, we love one another... and for the most part, we really enjoy "doing life" together. We have somethings to learn and grow in, but we see how it seems God has really brought us together for one another and for His kingdom.

I have to say, I do wonder about the future and how it will all come together. But lately when I start to think - I try to remember what Tobiah's dad says, "There used to be a bumper sticker that said 'It's OK not to drink" well, I want to create a new one, 'It's OK not to think." Amen. The problem might not be such a big deal for "normies" who don't get hooked on overdoing something that's harmless in small doses. For those of us who can't stop at one thought, one drink, one chocolate, etc. - thinking is often one of those foundational problems, it seems. Over-thinking, thinking the wrong thing to begin with... thinking is jus a bad idea a lot of the time. Someone who doesn't 'get it' just wouldn't really grasp how NOT thinking is really GOOD for some people!

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
I have been young, and now I am old, but I have never seen a righteous person abandoned or his descendants begging for food.

Those thoughts, from God's word, seriously comforts me, where to my conditioned-mind, it seems outrageous to truly DEPEND on God, like a father, because He IS my Father, to ACT like my father. What? You mean, I won't be begging and starving and hopeless?

All over the bible is the direction: DO NOT WORRY! One of my favorite chapters of the Holy Scriptures- Matthew 6 says...

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

*deep breath of relief* if I remember these things, I am fine. If I don't, I really begin to lose it!

The ONE downer is that I can't keep my dog with me for a while, because Tobiah lives at his mom's old place, and her antiques and furniture and such is in the house - and she is allergic to dogs, and runs an little eBay business there and so on, uses the computer, etc. So for a while I'll have to bring my dog back East to live with my family, which in the long run is really okay, but hit me kind of hard because since I moved here, my little dogs have been a MAJOR stabilizer and comfort for me... Their affection and unconditional love has been really nice ot have - but I need to rely on God for that and focus on growing in different ways I guess. God has the best plan, after all, mine is really insignificant compared to His!!! Also - I think if my family can take little COD she'll really bless them - she's so loving and sweet and loyal and obedient! She's like therapy wrapped up in a little Chihuahua-body!

So... Yeah... We're talking about marriage at this point and dreaming about where and how and when we're going to walk forward into this life together, as husband and wife. I mean, that is pretty far-out- We're talking about Israel in the spring, maybe even around Passover ("Next year in Jerusalem, as they say") - we're thinking this coming spring of 2009. What we want to do is get married in Jerusalem and then celebrate with reception-parties on both coasts - since his family is in Los Angeles and most of mine is back East - I can have the backyard-wedding-bash I always wanted, maybe around my birthday in the summer, since June is so nice in New Jersey. Then we can just fire up the barbeque and get together friends & family and all I really want is good food and music for dancing :) All the people who've known Tobiah as he's grown up and waited patiently, can celebrate us finding one another! I wonder if I could get Songs of Water to come play at the party, than that would be ABSOLUTE perfection, in my book!!!